ATTN: ALL STRESSED PEOPLE

I have good news and bad news!

The good news is that I have a new theory on not only how to relieve stress but to avoid it completely!

The bad news is that I don't know if you'll like it or not! And that I don't care if you don't like it or not! Hey! I just used, not only many exclamation points, but also my own theroy!

Yes, that's right my band friends. If you get very stressed during band or school, just remember to not care. And to be very sarcastic. Believe me; I've been doing this for a while and it just plain works. Following this very paragraph are some hints and tips that I made up while writing this (not really; I actually did think of this today while at my piano lesson):

1. Be sarcastic. Even if you don't know what being sarcastic means, be sarcastic. Which means to use sarcasm whenever possible. Example: Bob was figuring out the music to "Hey Ya!" when the band director starts screaming and yelling, for what seems to be no apparant reason and at his surprise, at him! All little Bobby says is "Umm, sure." And, PRESTO! The evil witch has gone down another throat! Then afterwards, he begins to whisper quietly under his breath about what a beast she is and laughs and stuff. Not throwing temper tantrums over the smallest things during drilling. Nope. None of that crap.
2. Be sarcastic. Oh, wait. I just did that one...
3. Be sorta-kinda passive (SKP). If something sorta kinda bothers you, don't say anything. Maybe it'll just go away. Plus, it's only sorta-kinda bothering, so you really shouldn't worry about it in the first place.
4. "What if the SKP doesn't work?" Folks, I get this a lot. Don't worry; just scream your head off until you feel better. Example: have you ever heard me scream at practice then tell me to calm down? I continue to yell, don't I? That's the good ol' SKP workin' right there! I haven't calmed down yet. But if I tell you that I was never mad in the first place, then I just screamed for fun.
5. "You're really weird." Yeah, I know. But hey! I have a blog. And blogs are cool. Thusly, I am cool because I have a blog. That's the only reason I'm cool, pretty much. That, and my braces are gone. I am no longer a metalmouth, braceface, or wirewoman (I made that last one up)!!!

Thanks for reading, Regina. ;)