I've taken on a lot of stuff recently. Which is weird, because it's my summer vacation. There's probably a lot of reasons for my surprising summer workload, but the one I'd like to put my finger on and say "yes" to is.........I'm a workaholic. Don't get me wrong - I love to slum around the house (or other houses) and do as little as possible. I do think I can only do that for so long, though. School and all that goes with it has really done me in. I mean....maybe for good. I no longer get the sick satisfaction of being able to say that I slept in until 1 or 2 after going to bed at 5am after reading a book or playing a game or watching a movie.... those were great times. And during those times, I never thought to myself (consciously), "there will be an end to this one day", and I don't mean mortally. Just a change in personality coupled with somewhat unique circumstances.
Taking these extra things on have reinforced one thing I've been able to subdue in the past: fear of failure. It's so silly. Logically speaking (o hey spock), when we fail or lose, it's the best time to learn about why or how it happened. This makes the whole experience much less awful and heartbreaking... it's also much more difficult to do than mope around and whine (which is therapeutic in itself, in some ways). So, when you work through the premises, I would be logically more afraid of LEARNING than I would be of failing... perhaps learning how I screwed up, looking through 20/20 hindsight, would make me feel stupid or embarassed that I didn't see a way around my error(s) as they were happening....
I wonder if Spock felt this way?
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