high endurance

Is the name of my deodorant that's staring at me from above.

So recent thoughts...

Lent has begun - I do admit I am a lousy freakin' Lent-ist. I don't usually give up (or do) things that would really help me in any way.. it used to be pop or chocolate or stuff like htat. Which is a good start, sure. But I've heard friends do things like, instead of giving something up, they DO something. That's a great thing - it shows maturity and understanding of what Lent is.

THe question is, what am I gonna do about MY Lent thing? Do i shamelessly steal their idea, which is fine, or do I stick with something stupid and still make it somehow work?

I'm already behind, as the first Friday of lent we were in Cincinnati and I had an italian bmt from quiznos along with my entire (mostly Cathoilc) group... that was an oops. So not the best start but it's okay.

I think I have finally decided, however, that I am going to shamelessly steal. From my friends. I'm going to try to be more honest with myself.. whether that means trying to stop convincing myself to do/not do something becuase it suits me at the time (I can finish that later, I'll practice later, I'll talk to him/her later, IVE GOT STUFF TO DO [always follows that sentence]) and hopefully being more honest w/ myself will not only bring about personal changes taht I've hated about myself for a long time but also bring about changes on my EXterior that people might notice and give time to consider.

For example, sometimes I think I'm really childish and annoying. Just in the way I act and when I'm in certain situations. Being fun and laughing a lot isn't a bad thing - but I'm SURE it can get old pretty fast. I'm trying to find a balance between work and play, it's kinda hard work. So the whole thing sucks.

Is Lent supposed to suck? No. does it sometimes? Psh, yeah. THere were times in the fourth grade where I REALLY WANTED that chocolate chip cookie in the cafeteria for dessert, but couldn't have it. And there's been times already where I try to convince myself that I don't need to practice or I do need to do something else that doesn't help me or anyone else in positive ways, and I have to talk my way through it. Convincing others is easy - the hardest thing I have to do in my life, it seems, is convincing MYSELF; e.g., I have to eat healthier, I have to exercise, I have to do my homework, I have to go to class, I have to practice, I have to et cetera and so on and so forth et in terra pax amen.

In the same token that a lot of studies revolve around the subject of philosophy, honesty is a great policy to uphold. Being honest with yourself can help with being honest with others and, although I haven't tried it, being honest with others first might even help being honest with yourself in turn. There are many unexamined things I still have to look at under the microscope with me - even though sometimes when I try to make a concious effort to examine something, I see the parts I only want to see, when I should be looking at the flip side and seeing what others are seeing, and fixing it from the inside out.

I'm a fleshy guy - it's easier to work your way out than in, hah.

So I guess I can summarize this post by saying, Lent is not the only time we can examine ourselves. Aristotle says, "The unexamined life is not worth living." We can easily reciprocate that and say the examined life is the life worth living. Thinking about and analyzing ourselves until we've got the right things down pat is what our thoughts should be on - whatever catalyst you may use to do it (religion, reading, music, whatever) will help you on your way to the summum bonum of your existence.


...and then I found five dollars.